healing isn’t even always fun and it isn’t always this sudden feeling of relief. healing is hard and it takes work and the more shit we have to deal with daily the harder it is to focus on healing. healing isn’t always happening and we are always breaking back into cycles of trauma. but committing to the hope that healing is a possibility, that the healing process is open to us is a part of healing.
i felt a lot of sadness and hopelessness today for a lot of reasons. and today when i let myself feel that, when i let myself have a hard day i cried and i moved in my healing because i was brought up in a world that told me to ignore my feelings.
healing is always changing. all i know is that when i still believe that it’s possible for me to heal i am making movements in myself, i am loving myself, i am creating a spot for myself in this world that i was forced out of.
Kim Ho, The Language of Love
so a friend sent me this, and like, it’s cute, and i’m excited about it on two fronts
- the fact that it’s written and performed by this amazing 17-year-old, and just how personal it is to the point where i’m more so invested in this character over the course of 5 minutes than characters who are around in an hour and a half long movie
- my friend’s short message attached to the link: “Holy shit! An Asian ‘protagonist.’” they watch a lot of queer shorts with white leading characters, and like, i don’t know. their excitement over seeing a person who, i think, reflects more of themselves made me so fucking excited. and just, yeah.
[Image description: a set of gifs from the film Pumzi. End image description]
Film: Pumzi is a Kenyan science fiction short film written and directed by Wanuri Kahiu. It was screened at the 2010 Sundance Film Festival as part of its New African Cinema program.
Pumzi, imagines a dystopian future 35 years after water wars have torn the world apart. East African survivors of the ecological devastation remain locked away in contained communities, but a young woman in possession of a germinating seed struggles against the governing council to bring the plant to Earth’s ruined surface.
wait. this sounds awesome and i want to watch it.
Attractive privilege is hearing how much more valuable and desirable you are than other people.
props on bastardizing the concept of privilege so badly that when it’s brought it up in actual real applicable situations(race, gender, orientation) no one takes it seriously
I don’t understand how people separate ‘attractive’ privilege as a concept, when the factors that make society see you as attractive (being white, thin, cis, rich (so you can afford nice clothes/food), able-bodied and healthy), are actually privileges on other axes.
Like yeah, if you’re conventionally attractive, society treats you better and values you, but the privilege doesn’t come in through ‘attractiveness’ itself, it comes in through other concrete privileges like white privilege.
It’s ignoring the root causes of social conceptions of attractiveness and that’s really fucking basic and prevents deeper analysis of the actual discrimination at play.
[Image description: Gabrielle Drake portraying Lt Gay Ellis with another person in a matching, camp sci-fi costume of silver bodysuit and purple wig. They are on the set of “UFO” in front of computer monitors and lit up buttons, both looking lustfully into each others eyes while Gay has her hand on her companions shoulder. End image description.]
So this is my current aesthetic. When I’m out socialising. Except on cold days, my aesthetic is dapper femme school boy.
And on hot days I look like a beautiful rose that has devastatingly wilted. Which really is devastating as roses are hardy and don’t so much wilt.
Sorry! I haven’t quit but I’m busy and tumblr isn’t a priority for me right now!
This was the only message I had energy to answer but I’m not ignoring any ask/submissions, I’m just one of the slowest people when it comes to doing or thinking about things. Soz folks!
ALSO for some reason when I tried to publish this answer my blue and white electronic cat-themed journal wouldn’t let me so I had to cut and paste it. All the more reason to avoid tumblr for now.
[image description: a photo of a fat ballerina wearing a pink fluffy tutu costume poses on one pointed leg (sorry i know nothing of ballet pose names). end image description]
Because the ballet tag features too many people of only one body type. Let’s not pretend you need to be a certain weight to be able to perform fouetté en tournant.
This is for my mom, who told me when I was seven years old that I was too fat to be a ballerina.
[image description: a photo of some fat ballerinas wearing white dresses dancing together. end image description]
ugh so i follow a blog that is focused on mental health who posted transmisogynist “joke” that was along the lines of [trigger warning] ‘vaginas are resilient, penises are weak potato sacks, so feel good about yourself GIRLS!!!’ and tagged it as “feminism” which is obviously wrong on so many levels.
me and some other people called them out and they apologised but still kept the post up on the basis that some people thought is was funny and laughing is healing. seriously? like, it’s offensive and it triggers people but lets not forget that transmisogynists need something to laugh at so let’s keep it here for them.
and the reply they gave me was long and boring and derailing and asked me deep questions like “so people can’t make jokes about boobs now?!”
i mean, it’s not surprising. that kind of shit is all over the internet. but resources such as mental illness blogs where people can access information/ask questions/meet others are sometimes the only resources some people have access to. i think being a part of running one is a big responsibility that needs to be taken seriously. they can’t be places that exclude or dehumanise people or their bodies.
i find it so hard to deal with life when my cat is sad and sick.
i just want him to be happy and healthy and safe but i don’t think i can provide any of those things for him right now.
like, i’m doing my best but all we can do is wait for things to get better and it’s hard and i feel helpless watching him suffer.